Rants & Raves
If you are easily offended this is not the page for you. Stay over in the recipe section and enjoy all the treats over there. This is the place where I lose my mind. Sometimes for the great stuff I find, but let's face it, mostly for that crazy messed up sh#@ that happens on a daily basis in the thing called life. You know what I'm talking about... stupid tales from the lives of keyboard warriors, daily weirdness and sometimes even an embarrasing family thing. Most of us just scroll or stroll on by when this stuff happens. Me? I use it as fodder for my STFU rants where I say all the things you've been holding back in case you offend someone. I have thick skin so I'll take the heat for that stuff. After all, what are friends for? 'Cause we are now friends, BFF's if you will :)
STFU about Gay Rights Already. February 2016
Last year MLAs at the Alberta legislature passed a bill that would mandate gay-straight alliances in any school where students want them. Key words...where students want them. Not what a bunch of paranoid, prejudiced parents and religious entities want. They did this because the majority of Albertans stated that this is what they wanted to see. And since we live in a country where the majority rules, if you don't like it feel free to move to Syria. I hear there are some openings for close minded religious people there. You can swap places with one of the families that are suffering there.
I recently saw a post where someone I know had a very strong opinion against Bill 10 and I quote" I fear and feel strongly that this Bill 10 presented by the NDP Alberta government could destroy the very foundation and fabric of our great country."
Further on they went on to state that they would delete all comments on the subject. Whaaaaaat? Then go meet up with your church knitting group and gossip about it there ffs.
He then posted a link to a RIDICULOUS video that was put out by Michael Brown who once was a 16 year-old, heroin-shooting Jewish rock drummer, who now has devoted his life to fostering awakening in the Church. Oh and by the way you can of course donate on his website to support him in his quest to rid the world of gays, atheists and a myriad of other people that don't fit into his tiny little archaic box.
What? You don't want your kids going to a school that receives money from OUR government and hence us? Then homeschool your kids. Then you can raise another close minded generation of haters and bigots instead of one that embraces ALL type of people.
And don't you dare tell me gays and gay marriage is against nature. There are over 1500 types of animals that engage in homosexual activity including rearing young together. Nature doesn't give a crap what sex you are, just that you get the job done.
So crawl back under your damn rock already and leave the forwarding of society to the kids. They are so much smarter than most of us when it comes to this shit.
STFU and stop failing as a parent... February 2016
The deputy minister has to create a task force because our kids are not prepared for college or work?? Are you frigging kidding me?
As a nation we are failing our kids. The "me" generation is becoming a societal joke. It's easy to blame teachers, social media and everything else out there because it takes the spotlight off the parents. But don't forget, it's YOUR job to raise the little shits right.
Here's a few signs that you've failed as a parent...
1. Your grown child does not know how to vacuum/do laundry/run the dishwasher. You're not their maid for cripes sake. You know the buggers are making 80% of the mess. Make them bloody clean it up.
2. Junior hasn't touched a shovel or lawn mower their whole life. Seriously. Get them working and then reward them. That will condition them for the actual workforce so life doesn't bitch slap them quite so hard
3. They never do their homework on time... Their asses should be in a chair in the kitchen after school until it's done. Just like when a work deadline is due. Because Xbox and hockey is not as important as learning work ethic. In the real world if you miss deadlines you get fired.
4. They are 30 years old and never moved out. Not even once. WHY the HELL would they? They live for free/cheap with a private servant and no responsibilities. Life is good!
So unless you want to admit to being the parent of one of our future useless as hell spawn do your part and TEACH them to grow up and live a life to be proud of. Because if you think those entitled minimal effort child/adults will be capable of taking care of you when you need it you may be unpleasantly surprised...
STFU and get the damn can... March 2016
Ugh, I can't believe I feel the need to write this... but I have seen numerous posts on here lately about how their garbage cans are not left exactly where they were by the garbage truck guys and gals. Really? Reeeeealy? THIS is such a big issue that we need to have "discussions" about it? And people are mad, I mean really mad about this. One guy went off about how they leave notes if his bins are not 30cm apart, but then he has to get out of his car and walk over and move them to get in his driveway. Another woman is putting on an opinion poll type post about it.
Are we THAT starved for drama right now that THIS is actually something to get our panties in a bunch over? How about Suncor laying off more people? Or that crazy mother Frump? Or maybe, you know, the people losing their entire lives right now? Those things and a thousand more seem far more important than this piddly ass issue.
The REASON that you need to have your cans a certain distance apart is so that the machine can grab them without knocking over your other one and creating a hell of a mess that YOU, the home owner will be cleaning up because you can't follow simple directions. But the garbage guys are obviously smarter than you and will just not take it to avoid the insane social media outcry when some dufus has to pick up his own garbage. (gasp!)
And if you actually expect the guys to take the time at each house to put those cans back in the exact spot you're on crack. They are on a tight schedule picking up your and mine sticky ass, putrid waste from our lives. Oh, poor us, we have to walk a few feet once a week in return for that luxury. Wah, wah, wah.
And while we're at it, a little exercise is good for you. Have you seen the health stats for our region? 80% of us could use more exercise. So instead of bitching about something so incredibly unimportant take it as an unintentional health bonus, get off your butt and go get the damn can.
STFU and get the damn can...
Ugh, I can't believe I feel the need to write this... but I have seen numerous posts on here lately about how their garbage cans are not left exactly where they were by the garbage truck guys and gals. Really? Reeeeealy? THIS is such a big issue that we need to have "discussions" about it? And people are mad, I mean really mad about this. One guy went off about how they leave notes if his bins are not 30cm apart, but then he has to get out of his car and walk over and move them to get in his driveway. Another woman is putting on an opinion poll type post about it.
Are we THAT starved for drama right now that THIS is actually something to get our panties in a bunch over? How about Suncor laying off more people? Or that crazy mother Frump? Or maybe, you know, the people losing their entire lives right now? Those things and a thousand more seem far more important than this piddly ass issue.
The REASON that you need to have your cans a certain distance apart is so that the machine can grab them without knocking over your other one and creating a hell of a mess that YOU, the home owner will be cleaning up because you can't follow simple directions. But the garbage guys are obviously smarter than you and will just not take it to avoid the insane social media outcry when some dufus has to pick up his own garbage. (gasp!)
And if you actually expect the guys to take the time at each house to put those cans back in the exact spot you're on crack. They are on a tight schedule picking up your and mine sticky ass, putrid waste from our lives. Oh, poor us, we have to walk a few feet once a week in return for that luxury. Wah, wah, wah.
And while we're at it, a little exercise is good for you. Have you seen the health stats for our region? 80% of us could use more exercise. So instead of bitching about something so incredibly unimportant take it as an unintentional health bonus, get off your butt and go get the damn can.
STFU Canada... March 2016
We’ve all seen them, the news articles about the oil slump and how it is affecting Alberta and the oil patch in general. The news stories can be biased enough and tinged with a touch of “haha it’s their turn now.” But I made the mistake of reading the comments from our fellow Canadians. They ranged from smug to downright poisonous.
As a born and raised Ontario girl I have to say I am disgusted by the nasty rhetoric that is seeping from the rest of Canada when they read about how our hard working men and women are losing their homes, selling their possessions and filling up the local pawn shops. How DARE they. A huge number of those people are from other provinces. They are from Newfoundland, Quebec, Ontario and everywhere else in this massive country. They are the strong and adventurous souls that had the guts and the fortitude to travel across this country and work long and hard to try to build a better life in Alberta and Saskatchewan. THEY are the reason the equalization payments have been made all these years. THEY are the reason Quebec and the rest of the less well off provinces can afford their social programs and feed their poor. THEY are the reason this country has prospered. THEY deserve our respect and our admiration.
So to keep it simple… STFU Canada until YOU have done all these things and still found it in your hearts and wallets in these trying times to EXCEED the charity goals set by organizations, FILL your food banks and raise over a half a MILLION dollars to try to save a mans life all while struggling to make ends meet.
I have lived all over this country in the last 47 years and I can say with a clear mind and open heart that Alberta is the best place to live if you are a hard working man or woman. We’ll be here once the next boom hits, resilient as ever.
Disclaimer: In case of over sensitivity please take a grain of salt and a big glass of chill.
STFU Canada... March 2016
We’ve all seen them, the news articles about the oil slump and how it is affecting Alberta and the oil patch in general. The news stories can be biased enough and tinged with a touch of “haha it’s their turn now.” But I made the mistake of reading the comments from our fellow Canadians. They ranged from smug to downright poisonous.
As a born and raised Ontario girl I have to say I am disgusted by the nasty rhetoric that is seeping from the rest of Canada when they read about how our hard working men and women are losing their homes, selling their possessions and filling up the local pawn shops. How DARE they. A huge number of those people are from other provinces. They are from Newfoundland, Quebec, Ontario and everywhere else in this massive country. They are the strong and adventurous souls that had the guts and the fortitude to travel across this country and work long and hard to try to build a better life in Alberta and Saskatchewan. THEY are the reason the equalization payments have been made all these years. THEY are the reason Quebec and the rest of the less well off provinces can afford their social programs and feed their poor. THEY are the reason this country has prospered. THEY deserve our respect and our admiration.
So to keep it simple… STFU Canada until YOU have done all these things and still found it in your hearts and wallets in these trying times to EXCEED the charity goals set by organizations, FILL your food banks and raise over a half a MILLION dollars to try to save a mans life all while struggling to make ends meet.
I have lived all over this country in the last 47 years and I can say with a clear mind and open heart that Alberta is the best place to live if you are a hard working man or woman. We’ll be here once the next boom hits, resilient as ever.
Disclaimer: In case of over sensitivity please take a grain of salt and a big glass of chill.
STFU and stay single... March 2016
OMG! Did you just break up with your latest boyfriend/girlfriend? What is this number 13 in as many weeks? How the hell do you do it? No seriously we all want to know so we can write that shit down in our "what not to do" folder.
You know what I'm talking about. We've all got that one friend. The one who is in love and posting memes with rainbows and skittles spitting unicorns one day and then the next ranting about how they are going to spend the rest of their lives hating the opposite sex forever and ever and ever... Then there comes that damn multi coloured, pronged horse meme again.
Ya all are making us crazy. Like come to your house and lure you into the woods, kill you and let the wolves eat you crazy. Or maybe that's just me. Seriously though. Chances are if you've gone through the same cycle that many times... It's frigging YOU! Take a look in the mirror and figure out what da hell you are doing already. You know that old saying, "if it ain't broke don't fix it?" Try the opposite of that.
Cause one day we're going to figure out where you live and google how far it is from there to the woods...
Disclaimer: In case of over sensitivity please take a grain of salt and a big glass of chill.
STFU and stay single... March 2016
OMG! Did you just break up with your latest boyfriend/girlfriend? What is this number 13 in as many weeks? How the hell do you do it? No seriously we all want to know so we can write that shit down in our "what not to do" folder.
You know what I'm talking about. We've all got that one friend. The one who is in love and posting memes with rainbows and skittles spitting unicorns one day and then the next ranting about how they are going to spend the rest of their lives hating the opposite sex forever and ever and ever... Then there comes that damn multi coloured, pronged horse meme again.
Ya all are making us crazy. Like come to your house and lure you into the woods, kill you and let the wolves eat you crazy. Or maybe that's just me. Seriously though. Chances are if you've gone through the same cycle that many times... It's frigging YOU! Take a look in the mirror and figure out what da hell you are doing already. You know that old saying, "if it ain't broke don't fix it?" Try the opposite of that.
Cause one day we're going to figure out where you live and google how far it is from there to the woods...
Disclaimer: In case of over sensitivity please take a grain of salt and a big glass of chill.
STFU and let them play... March 2016
Hey you! Yah I'm talking to you. The crazy mouth piece parent over there. The one screaming at the ref because you know soooo much more than the guy that does it professionally. I realize that watching sports on tv makes you a Bona fide expert... oh wait, NO it doesn't.
These CHILDREN know what you're doing is wrong. They know you're being an asshole. So why don't you STFU and let the kids do what they're there to do. PLAY the game.
I know, you think think little Johnny is destined for the NHL and little Mary will dance in the Nutcracker one day. Statistically the chances are high that they won't. But do you know what makes those chances non existent? If they QUIT!
The number one reason kids quit sports is it stops being fun. And the main reason is over aggressive parents and coaches. So just STOP already. If you can't help yourself drop little Johnny off and go eat a sandwich or get a refill on your Valium prescription. Or have a Valium sandwich, because you obviously need it...
STFU and let them play... March 2016
Hey you! Yah I'm talking to you. The crazy mouth piece parent over there. The one screaming at the ref because you know soooo much more than the guy that does it professionally. I realize that watching sports on tv makes you a Bona fide expert... oh wait, NO it doesn't.
These CHILDREN know what you're doing is wrong. They know you're being an asshole. So why don't you STFU and let the kids do what they're there to do. PLAY the game.
I know, you think think little Johnny is destined for the NHL and little Mary will dance in the Nutcracker one day. Statistically the chances are high that they won't. But do you know what makes those chances non existent? If they QUIT!
The number one reason kids quit sports is it stops being fun. And the main reason is over aggressive parents and coaches. So just STOP already. If you can't help yourself drop little Johnny off and go eat a sandwich or get a refill on your Valium prescription. Or have a Valium sandwich, because you obviously need it...
STFU and live already... April 2016
I 'm now 48. When I was 18 I thought 30 was old. And then I reached 30 and thought 40 was old. But then I turned 40 and something amazing happened. I learned to value myself, my friends and my life. Not in some religious or fanatical way but in that soul searching, live in the moment way. I've had so many adventures. I've jumped out of a plane (loved it), bungee jumped (hated it), white water rafted, got drunk with Bon Jovi's band, owned a 14 ft Burmese Python, gone spelunking, zip lining & para sailing. Travelled all across Canada, the US and Mexico and parts of Europe Took a saucier course in France, passed out in a gay bar bathroom in New York. (Don't ask)
There's a hundred more things to list but here's my point... I spent a thousand nights out in the bars with my "girlfriends" getting hammered and flaunting my stuff in my micro skirts and stilettos, and y'all know how much I LOVE shoes. But I barely remember those nights or those girls. But those adventures? THOSE friends? I remember every single one.
Make your memories amazing.
STFU and GO... August 2016
Lol ok here goes. I simply HAVE to address this phenomenon. Unlike what a couple passive aggressive posters out there think I don't HATE this game. The trainer in me is always happy to see anything that motivates people to get off their asses and move. However...
If you are one of the rejects that are actually playing the game and checking your phone while driving I hope you drive into a ditch, wreck your car but don't get hurt and have to walk home. Preferably at dusk and chased by a million mosquitos that haven't eaten in a week. Them bitches be hungry! Distracted driving kills. Period.
If you play while walking across crosswalks, down stairs or while mowing the lawn, please don't procreate. We have enough stupid people out there submerging the gene pool one birth at a time.
Stay the hell out of people's yards! What in the actual f#*%? How does anyone think that this is ok? It's not. My first response to a strange man walking into my backyard through my gate is to throw the gardening shears at his head. Unless you get extra points for being impaled I'd think twice about doing that.
As for the developers of the game... At NO point is it ok to put a Pokemon stop on the memorial of a dead toddler. NO, just NO. The fact that numerous police forces, media outlets and homeowners have had to address these and other issues is ridiculous. As Aretha sang, R E S P E C T people. So if you're into the new craze more power to you, but please be one of the smart ones. Or at least walk into a tree where I can see and get a good laugh.
STFU and GO... August 2016
Lol ok here goes. I simply HAVE to address this phenomenon. Unlike what a couple passive aggressive posters out there think I don't HATE this game. The trainer in me is always happy to see anything that motivates people to get off their asses and move. However...
If you are one of the rejects that are actually playing the game and checking your phone while driving I hope you drive into a ditch, wreck your car but don't get hurt and have to walk home. Preferably at dusk and chased by a million mosquitos that haven't eaten in a week. Them bitches be hungry! Distracted driving kills. Period.
If you play while walking across crosswalks, down stairs or while mowing the lawn, please don't procreate. We have enough stupid people out there submerging the gene pool one birth at a time.
Stay the hell out of people's yards! What in the actual f#*%? How does anyone think that this is ok? It's not. My first response to a strange man walking into my backyard through my gate is to throw the gardening shears at his head. Unless you get extra points for being impaled I'd think twice about doing that.
As for the developers of the game... At NO point is it ok to put a Pokemon stop on the memorial of a dead toddler. NO, just NO. The fact that numerous police forces, media outlets and homeowners have had to address these and other issues is ridiculous. As Aretha sang, R E S P E C T people. So if you're into the new craze more power to you, but please be one of the smart ones. Or at least walk into a tree where I can see and get a good laugh.
STFU and GO... August 2016
Lol ok here goes. I simply HAVE to address this phenomenon. Unlike what a couple passive aggressive posters out there think I don't HATE this game. The trainer in me is always happy to see anything that motivates people to get off their asses and move. However...
If you are one of the rejects that are actually playing the game and checking your phone while driving I hope you drive into a ditch, wreck your car but don't get hurt and have to walk home. Preferably at dusk and chased by a million mosquitos that haven't eaten in a week. Them bitches be hungry! Distracted driving kills. Period.
If you play while walking across crosswalks, down stairs or while mowing the lawn, please don't procreate. We have enough stupid people out there submerging the gene pool one birth at a time.
Stay the hell out of people's yards! What in the actual f#*%? How does anyone think that this is ok? It's not. My first response to a strange man walking into my backyard through my gate is to throw the gardening shears at his head. Unless you get extra points for being impaled I'd think twice about doing that.
As for the developers of the game... At NO point is it ok to put a Pokemon stop on the memorial of a dead toddler. NO, just NO. The fact that numerous police forces, media outlets and homeowners have had to address these and other issues is ridiculous. As Aretha sang, R E S P E C T people. So if you're into the new craze more power to you, but please be one of the smart ones. Or at least walk into a tree where I can see and get a good laugh.
STFU and get "lucky"... August 2016
Had a passing convo with someone at the gym. Asked him how he got so lucky with the lady he's with. He said " hey I did my time with the crazies." I replied that I had had a few as well. It got me thinking...
My friends tell me how lucky I am that I have my guy. I call bullshit. We met just after both our marriages crashed & burned. We could have carried our baggage forward and easily poisoned our budding relationship. Instead we left everything and everyone we knew and travelled on to a new adventure together.
We were both scared we were crazy and I'm sure everyone else thought so too. If we had kept looking backwards at our past and let it dictate our future we would not be where we are 5 years later. In that time we literally have not had an argument. Not one. And here's why...
1. We talk. And we listen. The second part is key. Too many people don't really listen. They simply wait to talk. Big difference. So. STFU once in a while and really listen.
2. We don't sweat the small stuff. It's an acquired art, trust me. But really. How hard is it to brush the crumbs the other leaves every morning into the sink. Especially since they are getting up at 4 am and you're sleeping much later. STFU and get out that dish cloth or flip that toilet seat down yourself.
3. Respect. We NEVER "jokingly" insult the other so we can seem smart or funny to others around us. It's not funny. So STFU and stop doing it.
4. Respect (it deserves a second mention). Both given and earned. Once your partner breaks your trust or vice versa it is 99% impossible to get it back. If you had a 1% of surviving something else, skiing, swimming, whatever... You wouldn't do it. Yet people repeat the cycle over and over expecting the result to change.
So don't do anything to break that trust. It is truly irreplaceable. And if someone breaks yours, turn away from the path you're on and find someone to start a new adventure with. Or STFU already.
I found a man whom I respect, love and who has never given me a reason to doubt that he loves me with all his heart. I found my prince... But trust me, I dated a few frogs first. The thing with that is... I learned from my mistakes quick, cut off their little legs and sautéed them in butter.
I will never STFU... August 2016
Although the majority of my posts come across to the majority as tough but humorous there will always be a few that are offended by my view on certain topics. I get it. I don't expect everyone to understand or like everything I post. In fact I expect the opposite. Any strong opinions will incite debate, dialogue, anger or laughter.
I have people on my FB that I regularly disagree with their opinions and comments. I debate with them on a variety of issues sometimes on a very deep level. I don't get mad because they don't agree with me. In fact I welcome it. Progress is based on multiple parties discussing things. Different attitudes and different ideas.
Believe it or not I am soft hearted in my own way. (Stop laughing) But I do not cater to people just so I don't rock the boat. Neither should you. Rock the shit out of that vessel. Stormy seas build great sailors.
I regularly jump in and defend people and ideas on social media that I believe in. Someone recently said that I shouldn't feel like I have to rescue people so much. I believe the opposite. I believe that more people need to stand up and cut through the bullshit. More people need to get off the sidelines and stand up for something.
In a world of "me, me, me" it's easy to become isolated and remain a spectator in life. If my worst traits are being outspoken and backing up my beliefs no matter whether the majority agree with me, I'll take it.
I have to go. There's racists, assholes and Politicians I have to argue with.
I was invincible, or so I thought. At age 23 I was told that Lupus would prevent me from lifting heavy and not to overdo my workouts. I didn’t listen. I built a lifelong career as a trainer and at one point I was squatting for 6 reps, ass down with two plates per side. My Irish stubbornness gave the old 🖕🏻and I just kept living the life I had worked so hard to build out of the ashes of my childhood.
Then I started running distance races. In the process I destroyed my feet and my already half destroyed knees. But I continued throwing up the middle finger to my disease because you only get one trip around the sun and I’d be damned if I was just sitting on the sidelines.
Over the years I went skydiving, spelunking & climbing. I raced snowmobiles, crashed cars (and my skidoo) and any other adrenaline inducing thing I could lay my hands on. Looking back it was a natural replacement for my crack cocaine addiction. I truly believe both the gym and my love of crazy, along with my beautiful daughter kept me on the right path.
But along with the “fuck you, I’m doing it anyways” mentality came the feeling that I was unbreakable. That no matter what life threw at me I would come out on top. So I rarely ever went to the doctor. I have been to emergency once in ten years, and I hadn’t had a pap checkup in 8 years. Big fucking oops.
Fast forward to my massage appointment with Lisa on roughly October 2018. My back injuries from my three accidents had finally gotten the best of me and I was mostly house and chair bound. As we picked apart my injuries together (she is a brilliant masseuse) trying to get to the bottom of my pain, she flipped me over and within a minute I heard her say, “you have a lump in your groin and you should get that checked.” At this point I had unexpectedly lost 30 pounds and the trainer in me was going nuts trying to figure out why. I HATE being skinny.
I immediately went to my doctor and in less than three months I had 2 regular ultrasounds, an internal one, a nuclear bone scan, bloodwork, X-rays and two MRI’s. FYI, I FUCKING LOVE ALBERTAS HEALTHCARE SYSTEM.
In the process they found a massive growth in my uterus. It measured 11cm x 10 x 7. I DARE YOU to draw that out in 3-D. I did and it terrified me. From the look of the pics they thought the “small lump” Lisa had found was a part of the bigger mass.
My doctor arranged for me to go to a surgeon in Edmonton, Dr. Tankle. I can’t say enough good about him. He’s funny, a great surgeon and Australian 👍🏻. The surgery could not be done here due to the size, the pressure it was putting against my bladder and the fact that at this point is was compressing the attachment to one of my kidneys. So now I needed a team of surgeons. Something simply not available here in Fort McMurray.
Dr. Tankle has a huge waiting list, he’s that good. And even though he placed me at the top of the cancellation list it was roughly 3 months until my surgery, which took place May 31st. So off we went, Kevin, Shyla, Fonzie and I, because if by chance I didn’t make it through I wanted my important people close. (And Shyla insisted, and like her mama you don’t deny her what she truly wants).
Normally with masses in the uterus they can be removed vaginally. Mine was simply too large. That’s on me and my idiotic decisions to brush off my pap appointments.
By the time he cut me the mass had DOUBLED in size. It weighed 8 fucking pounds. I named it Linda after my ex mother in law who was an energy sucking sucubus as well. It seemed apt. The nurses had a good laugh and a fellow patient named Lynn almost popped her stitches laughing. (Yes I made friends in my hospital bed, this is me we’re talking about people). I also had a second mass growing outside the uterus, which had surprised them. It turned out to be the original lump found by Lisa. Without that little one (2cm x 3cm) being found, they would not have found Linda for even longer, because I never went to the doctor BECAUSE I WAS INVINCIBLE DAMN YOU.
The trip home four days later in the truck was awful, but I imagine a flight would have been worse. After much debate we chose the lesser of two evils. Thank god for the smooth ride on our F-150. GO Ford. Not that clown in Ontario peeps. He can go fuck a donkey.
My surgery was on a Friday so my wait for the test results on my “evil things in my body” took a bit longer than usual. Today I found out that they were both benign. But the wait was killing me. It was constantly in my brain, what if?
What if my own actions took me out?
What if my assumption that I AM FINE so who needs to go to the doctor, ended badly?
My Irish luck held, but it was literally just luck. It could have ended so differently.
LADIES, GO TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR.
STFU Ladies,and let me be your terrible warning. May 2019