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  • Writer's pictureTerri Windover

The Jelly Murders

Sooo, THIS just happened. I had used my new Victorio Steam Juicer  on some Pin Cherries I had picked and frozen late last summer. I was curious as to whether the Jelly would set without pectin but decided to chance it. 

In my defence, Kevin infected me with a summer cold, so I'm blaming the cold medication 100% for this fiasco. (damn you to hell generic brand cold and flu pills).

Everything was set. The jars were sterilizing on one element. The lids were softening on another. The third element was where the crimson red juice was taking its sweet time coming to a boil. I placed the lid on the pot to "hurry it up a bit". Then went outside to chat with Kevin for MAYBE four minutes. This was a BAD IDEA. Like, driving in the oncoming lane, bad idea. 

I wandered back into the house and was met by what looked like a kitchen straight out of a horror movie. (No I didn't kill Kevin for getting me sick in July). 

First, I screamed for Kevin. I doubt I made any sense at that point. I'm pretty sure it went something like "oh my god", "oh my fucking god", "what the fuck?", "oh my godddddd!!!", "KEVIN!". 

Second, I grabbed my phone to capture the vision for posterity. Because I'm me...

Third, I screamed again for Kevin.  VERY LOUDLY. 

Then I spent about 2 hours sopping up half boiled jelly, moving the stove, (did you know liquids can get in between the panes of glass?) Neither did I. Then I basically bleached my entire kitchen, and when that didn't work I used a jug of vinegar in hot water on my hands and knees. Speaking of knees...My house basically smells like a cheap hooker that has douched a dozen times on a busy Friday night. 

Life lesson number #427... NEVER leave Jelly unattended. 

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